"the most mysterious man of the Winter Olympics."

one cold, Canadian Valentine's Day night, i was drinking myself into blissful oblivion in a subterranean Canadian bar. it was two days into the Vancouver Olympics and the excitement was still fresh. i sat with all the other sad, lonely Canadians and watched some stupid made-up sport on a discolored tv.

apparently it was Men's Moguls, which is somehow different from other forms of skiing. the Canadian skiier was able to get to the bottom of the hill the fastest, while doing some jumps and flips and shit. he did all this without falling down, and therefore won the event. whilst the Canadians jubilantly and Canadianly cheered for their countryman, their dorky little anthem played, and i was distracted by the unsmiling visage of the silver medalist from Australia.

his name is Dale Begg-Smith, and he was not happy, because he also did flips and jumps and shit and didn't fall down, but he didn't do it as fast. so he was very mad, but it suited his sexy, stubbly features. Dale Begg-Smith was thusly awarded the gold medal in Sexyface.










also, apparently he peddles Spyware. so that's awesome. Dale Begg-Smith, you can H4xx0r me anytime.